Work Ethic

I spent the weekend with Sidney in Madison at a Suzuki Strings Workshop. It was a great time for mother/daughter, daughter/instructor, assistant teacher (me)/daughter, and assistant teacher/instructor. I found the guest instructor especially inspirational. He also runs the childhood developmental psychology department at the university where he teaches. I love the Suzuki method of instruction and am learning that it is not only a way to approach teaching how to love and play music. It is also a valuable tool in parenting, and recognizing developmental cues in how to approach your child.

There were many key tag-lines all which are applied in violin lessons, but can also be appreciated more broadly as a parent navigating your child through many things.

**Listen everyday and watch for their self-corrections and praise those.

**Abandonment and independence don't belong in the same sentence.

**Ownership happens over time in snapshots, pieces of moment to moment.

**Many times a question asked already has an answer attached to it, so answer a question with a question.

**As a parent you need to find that balance between desertion and micro-managing.

Sidney wanted to go to this workshop. Even if this meant that she was on the young end or the only one from her class there, that was OK. She lights up when she hears a violin. This doesn't mean that we don't have the same practice struggles as other families, she just really seems to dig it. Unlike me at her age, nerves when playing haven't been an issue for her. She's never fretted over a solo, she just enjoys it. Now, she will get bug eyed and nervous when unprepared, but we had a repertoire and reviewed pieces all week. The big payoff was playing at the capitol rotunda today.

This morning after her first session Sid doubled over with stomach pain. She couldn't rehearse for the performance at the Capitol and was devastated. No mom, it's not nerves, I just don't feel good. I can't stand up for long without having to sit down, my stomach hurts! Should we leave or wait to see if it passes? Every time I tried to mention leaving she would begin to sob and hyperventilate. It was a bad scene. When the final rehearsal was happening and we were outside the room sitting on the floor, she would just break down when they played a song she was supposed to be playing. Finally, after waiting until it was time to head over for the recital she said she couldn't stand to play, I said well, lets head home. We got in the car and she began to sob again. We decided to find parking again and she wanted to just go in, see the inside of the capitol, sit and listen.

We found a spot for her to sit on the floor and she asked for me to find her instructor and tell her. I'm often amazed at Ms. Melzer, at how well she handles the kids. She's tuning violins for the performance and I approach her and let her know what's going on. She stops, and walks across the rotunda to Sidney and lets her know it's OK. She'll get to play here again and she has to take care of herself now. If at any point she feels like getting up and playing even part of a song, she's welcome to and she can leave at anytime.

The older kids begin to play and she decides she'll sit on the floor and just play one song when it comes to her levels playing turn. She then plays all of the songs, through sheer will. Instead of bows, she sits on the floor and rocks between songs, then pulls herself together gets up and finishes. She really wanted this. I spent 2 hours wringing my hands and battling what to do, but she wanted to stay. She had wanted to go so bad. She finished through pure will and what will for her be a defining moment in developing her work ethic. I'm so proud of her!

This truly was a moment that converged and like mentioned above she took ownership.

Sew Crazy

Let me make myself perfectly clear, I was only moments from chucking this machine across the room! Evening one of teach myself to sew complete and I survived....barely.

A little background. I've had one lesson from a friend a year ago, and we got my machine up and running and bobbin threaded through. I've used it several times very satisfyingly on anything that I could sew with the white thread that we loaded it with. It is with this white thread I was going to begin an attempt in earnest at proficiency.

Step one: the whole damn thing came apart and I had to start at square one with the supplied cryptic instructions (thanks Brother)! Step two: struggling, scrambling, cursing at the lower bobbin for the illusive loop to make an appearance (thanks to Brian for finally getting it). Step three: for criminy sake, remember to put the foot down when you've accomplished getting all above threaded, and begin to sew. Step four: give yourself a wide berth for error. Attempt something much larger than this cute (or should I say supposed be cute) project. Step five, survive it, have a glass of wine, bask in your accomplishment and prepare a list of future projects.

I am much embarrassed by the above bird which will take up residence on the machine as a reminder of my humble beginnings. But now you can all hold me to my commitment, track my progress, and know that there's no place to go but up!

Changing Rooms

I love our dining room. In fact, the biggest furniture investment we've made is a beautiful Stickley dining room table and chairs. I love to entertain. But formal entertaining, you know the kind where you fret over place settings and enjoy a lovely meal in that special room, only comes around every other month or so.

Our wonderful old farmhouse is a very functional space. The downstairs is perfect for the family (and friends). It's where we spend our time and whether we're all doing the same thing or not, there's a sense of camaraderie just because of our proximity to one another. Over Christmas, I began working a puzzle or two with the kids on the dining room table. It's central and a great space to spread out, and worked perfectly.

As I've mentioned before, I have so many creative ideas I want to attempt with my sewing machine, I just need to gain confidence on it and start already! Well, I've procrastinated and procrastinated and realized something. Being upstairs, isolated in the cold back hallway room and situated at my hope chest as a work space isn't conducive of actually getting anything done.

So this morning, I moved the sewing machine downstairs and placed it smack dab at the head of the dining room table. It's easy enough to move when we entertain. Now it's in the epicenter of my home. Somewhere that I can create, share how to's with the kids and still be involved with all of the happenings. It's not too much of a leap to use the dining room as a sort of surrogate craft area. A portion of the built in buffet has been used for kid craft supply storage since we moved in.

Have you switched up any rooms lately?

What Kind Of Reader Are You?

I relish the story and wouldn't think of skipping ahead to find out what happens. I believe my mom has been known to peak ahead! Sidney recently read Black Beauty and loved it, so I bought her a few more classics that I'm eager for her to read. One of which is Anne of Green Gables. One of my favorites. When I was young my family took a trip to Prince Edward Island to see Green Gables. My mom and I loved the mini-series with Megan Follows and I rented it from netflix, to whet Sidney's appetite for the story. We began to watch it Friday night, and she loves it! She's as taken by the language as I am.

We sat down for our second installment yesterday morning and she said (please avert your eyes if you don't know the story, I'm about to reveal a plot point) "You didn't tell me Matthew dies!" I asked her how she knew this, and she said when she went upstairs Friday night she read the last chapter of the book so she could find out what happened. No, No, No! I wonder if there is some heredity at work here? hmmm grandma?? I found myself pleading with Sid not to get into this bad habit. There is so much to enjoy in a story, don't spoil it by knowing the ending first. I think she's skeptical. Time will tell.

This week was also the week that Charlie decided that seeing things "shiny" was better than seeing things "dusty", so he began to wear his glasses full time. We also found that a little bit of inspiration has him eagerly reading at bed time, on his own. We're off to the library today to let him pick his next reading adventure. This will be a mother/son trip, because Sidney got a wealth of new reading material for Christmas, which she will hopefully read in the correct direction!

So, what kind of reader are you?

The Frost

Only one other time in my life have I witnessed a hoary frost. Both times I was struck by the beauty and peace of the encapsulated landscape.

This has been a week full of emotion. Watching the heart-wrenching scenes from Haiti gave pause to be truly grateful for what we have (you can text 90999 to subject line Haiti and have $10 added to your cell phone bill next month, benefits the American Red Cross International Relief, every small amount helps). Coming to the realization that just successfully navigating this recession in 2008/2009 wasn't going to be enough, sucked the wind out of my sails. At the same time it ignited my survivor skills and opened up new veins of creativity.

There is nothing more life affirming than looking out the window in the morning and glimpsing such beauty to begin your day. Happy Sunday!

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